By Cat Li Stevenson
"There is more to life than increasing its speed." ~Ghandi
I was raised on competition and excelling. I learned to walk at 10 months, read at age 4, and started taking piano lessons at the same time. By the time I was 7, I was performing at the local university gamage in front of hundreds of people. I also grew up attending 2 schools: the typical American School and then Chinese Linguistic School every Sunday. Here, I competed in linguistic competitions, Chinese chess, and served as student body president for one year. These were only some of the extra-curricular activities that I participated in; sprinkled between my childhood and adolescent years were also weekly private writing lessons, "super workbooks" I completed every summer for the coming grade, and being a straight A student.
From age 4 until I graduated from college 6 years ago, life was pretty easy: it was a road map of one grade leading to the next and one accomplishment proceeding the other. Then I grew up.
I remember graduating college and self-diagnosing myself with "post-college trauma." The real world just wasn't all that I had made it out to be. Somewhere along the path of constantly achieving, my teachers failed to mention that there would not always be a destination attached to every activity. Outside of perfecting a Mozart piece, writing an essay for a competition, and taking final exams, there lied a world that was foreign to me. A world where apparently one could find the most contentment in existing in the present moment without looking forward all the time.
In my previous post, I listed ways of how we could open our eyes to the world as we know it today. While slowing down my forward looking desire remains a tremendous challenge, I have offered a few survival tips on how we can savor a mapless road, how to enjoy the journey, and just for a moment, take our eyes off of the destination.
1. Recognize mini-successes
Our days are filled with accomplishments that we should be proud of. Become aware of the transformations and successes that happen everyday. Instead of reaching for the to-do list and filling the paper with tasks, try writing down all the accomplishments you've had for that month. My aunt bought me a a beautiful, leather 2010 planner for Christmas last year that I use to track my accomplishments. The space in the front of the planner that should be used to keep track of appointments, I instead utilize it to write down all the mini-successes I have achieved. Many of them are simple, such as a new perspective I gained one day by observing a kind man at the movie theater.
2. Get lost in music
My sister recently worked at a less than glamorous job in a call center. She dreaded stepping foot in the call center...and the way she energized herself was to crank the music in her car and jam out before starting her day. There are days where we can't help but look ahead, as our current situation seems to feel dull or stagnant. It's moments like these that we must acknowledge that it is a stepping stone, a temporary state, which we are meant to experience in order to embrace future events. For now, listen to that favorite song on your Ipod, sing at the top of your lungs, get lost in the moment, and let it carry you effortlessly to the next.
3. Let go
The fixation we have on the destination is one that we have been accustomed to by society conditioning. I am a runner and take jogs on the canal behind our home several days a week, in preparation for ongoing races that my husband and I enjoy participating in. In the beginning of my training, I would count down the miles backwards and envision the finishing point during the entire jog. This year, I decided to shift my mentality, unplug from the Ipod, and take in the scenery around me. By letting go of my attachment to the finish line and music that I felt created my experience, I was able to feel the dirt underneath my shoes, and appreciate the scenic nature I often neglected to notice before. It's still easier to let my mind wander to the finish line, but when I let go without the expectations, the world appears softer, gentler, and more alive.
How do you slow down to detach from the destination? Perhaps closing your eyes and feeling your breath in the wind? Or unplugging from all technology to rejuvenate your mind on what exists outside of a multi-tasking day? Or maybe just sitting on the porch with a cup of coffee, reveling in today by simply acknowledging how far you've come to be who and where you are.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Writing Your Story: 5 Ways to Discover Your World
By Cat Li Stevenson
"The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment." ~Pema Chodron
This past year has been one of tremendous self-discovery. One day, I suddenly realized after 9 years of a very straight finance paved path, I no longer wanted to be a Corporate Banker. Instead, I longed for waking up each morning with a bigger purpose, a brand of who I was, and what I stood for outside of this corporate lifestyle. Since that day, I seemed to be on a tiresome pursuit in finding my story. I even seriously debated moving out of the country to build character and expand my journey.
While my own story is still one that remains on the preface page, I have realized in several months of contemplation that discovering our personal novel is not formed by rushing the process or constant over analyzing. It is, instead, a compilation of daily experiences, perspective, and the wisdom we receive from these that shapes our meaning.
We all have a truly unique story, but we do not have to be in a hurry to write it or create it. When we start living life, instead of always trying to figure it out, our story, meaning, purpose will present itself in amazing ways.
Here are 5 activities I have found helpful in discovering my world that you can also try:
1. Share 3 "Grateful Statements" a Day
It's remarkable how your day and life can become instantly transformed by realizing the gifts and abundance that exist all around you right here, right now. Drop a line through BBM, text, email or the good old-fashioned phone call with a sister, bff, boyfriend, or anyone else close to you about something you're grateful for. It can be a simple grateful: about how you have AC in your car, while someone next to you on the freeway does not. While this may be an exercise in the beginning, this gratitude approach to each day will awaken you to see the world that exists in front of you today; leading to happier, brighter, more meaningful days.
2. Explore Contrast Exercises
If you are an evening person like I am, you get a surge of energy at 11PM and manage to find something, anything to keep you occupied way past your bedtime. I recently (and not easily) began going to bed by 10PM in an effort to get up in the morning for a run or a spin class, followed by a morning meditation before I started on my commute. I am in awe at how the day looks and feels different by waking up at a new hour: from the sunrise to the increased productivity level I have by mid-morning. Or, if you are a morning person, try staying up until the midnight hour and notice the difference around you. Or perhaps you enjoy taking walks at night as part of your workout regiment, what happens if you try out a new, hip-hop class at your gym instead? When exploring other parts of your day that you're not aware of by making small adjustments, a whole new discovery and perspective may surface.
3. Commit to 30 Days of Excellence
This year my husband and I have made a fun activity of practicing 30 days of excellence. We've done everything from “30 days of going to bed on time” to “30 days of 5 minute, daily meditation” to “30 days of being mindful about our attitude and what we share.” Committing to 30 days of excellence to form a habit can transcend and improve your world to give you the energy, inspiration, and character building to take on the next step needed to move forward in your discovery.
4. Write an "I want..." List
There are more articles and books out there about affirmations and knowing what it is you want. I am here to repeat this important exercise: Write “I want…” at the top of a piece of paper or your journal and start writing without pausing to think. Keep this list at your bedside and revisit it daily. By tuning into knowing exactly what it is you want, you will be able to identify it when you see it, without it passing by without notice.
5. Create a Board of Inspiration
I have a fascination with cards. Ever since I was a little girl, I would make cards from scratch for everyone around me and every occasion. We constantly had visitors and family members visit from Taiwan when I was younger. I'd always show up at the airport with a personalized card welcoming the guest to town. Now, 20 plus years later, I still love cards. Instead of creating them, I collect them. I enjoy finding meaningful messages and quotes in card shops. Recently, I purchased a blank canvas where I've pasted each of those cards in a square, hung it up in a place in my home office, and I revisit them everyday to stay inspired.
What inspires you? Is it a photo of a place you once visited? A picture from a travel magazine you want to vacation to? Or perhaps a CD cover of your favorite artist? Create a board of inspiration, visit it daily, let it speak to you, and be inspired to discover your world.
"The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment." ~Pema Chodron
This past year has been one of tremendous self-discovery. One day, I suddenly realized after 9 years of a very straight finance paved path, I no longer wanted to be a Corporate Banker. Instead, I longed for waking up each morning with a bigger purpose, a brand of who I was, and what I stood for outside of this corporate lifestyle. Since that day, I seemed to be on a tiresome pursuit in finding my story. I even seriously debated moving out of the country to build character and expand my journey.
While my own story is still one that remains on the preface page, I have realized in several months of contemplation that discovering our personal novel is not formed by rushing the process or constant over analyzing. It is, instead, a compilation of daily experiences, perspective, and the wisdom we receive from these that shapes our meaning.
We all have a truly unique story, but we do not have to be in a hurry to write it or create it. When we start living life, instead of always trying to figure it out, our story, meaning, purpose will present itself in amazing ways.
Here are 5 activities I have found helpful in discovering my world that you can also try:
1. Share 3 "Grateful Statements" a Day
It's remarkable how your day and life can become instantly transformed by realizing the gifts and abundance that exist all around you right here, right now. Drop a line through BBM, text, email or the good old-fashioned phone call with a sister, bff, boyfriend, or anyone else close to you about something you're grateful for. It can be a simple grateful: about how you have AC in your car, while someone next to you on the freeway does not. While this may be an exercise in the beginning, this gratitude approach to each day will awaken you to see the world that exists in front of you today; leading to happier, brighter, more meaningful days.
2. Explore Contrast Exercises
If you are an evening person like I am, you get a surge of energy at 11PM and manage to find something, anything to keep you occupied way past your bedtime. I recently (and not easily) began going to bed by 10PM in an effort to get up in the morning for a run or a spin class, followed by a morning meditation before I started on my commute. I am in awe at how the day looks and feels different by waking up at a new hour: from the sunrise to the increased productivity level I have by mid-morning. Or, if you are a morning person, try staying up until the midnight hour and notice the difference around you. Or perhaps you enjoy taking walks at night as part of your workout regiment, what happens if you try out a new, hip-hop class at your gym instead? When exploring other parts of your day that you're not aware of by making small adjustments, a whole new discovery and perspective may surface.
3. Commit to 30 Days of Excellence
This year my husband and I have made a fun activity of practicing 30 days of excellence. We've done everything from “30 days of going to bed on time” to “30 days of 5 minute, daily meditation” to “30 days of being mindful about our attitude and what we share.” Committing to 30 days of excellence to form a habit can transcend and improve your world to give you the energy, inspiration, and character building to take on the next step needed to move forward in your discovery.
4. Write an "I want..." List
There are more articles and books out there about affirmations and knowing what it is you want. I am here to repeat this important exercise: Write “I want…” at the top of a piece of paper or your journal and start writing without pausing to think. Keep this list at your bedside and revisit it daily. By tuning into knowing exactly what it is you want, you will be able to identify it when you see it, without it passing by without notice.
5. Create a Board of Inspiration
I have a fascination with cards. Ever since I was a little girl, I would make cards from scratch for everyone around me and every occasion. We constantly had visitors and family members visit from Taiwan when I was younger. I'd always show up at the airport with a personalized card welcoming the guest to town. Now, 20 plus years later, I still love cards. Instead of creating them, I collect them. I enjoy finding meaningful messages and quotes in card shops. Recently, I purchased a blank canvas where I've pasted each of those cards in a square, hung it up in a place in my home office, and I revisit them everyday to stay inspired.
What inspires you? Is it a photo of a place you once visited? A picture from a travel magazine you want to vacation to? Or perhaps a CD cover of your favorite artist? Create a board of inspiration, visit it daily, let it speak to you, and be inspired to discover your world.
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